Attention to Detail
by vts
Summary: Shizuka wants Mai to be happy when she wakes up. Her beauty's important to the both of them. [ShizukaMai]


**A/N**: A one-shot Nurseshipping fic I wrote sometime in July. It's a bit weird, really.  
**Warnings:** Dark in some places, one-sided Shizuka/Mai

Attention to Detail

Shizuka loved colors. Ever since she had been freed from oblivion, she was always showered by designs and shades that once assaulted her sense of sight until she could finally sort them out and associate them with names. What wondrous names they were, too - names that would only be gibberish when used to describe something else. It was absolutely incredible to her that the differences that painted her world after so long were all made from just seven that bent so close together that they seemed to blend at the edges. They were all crunched in an arc that held the same shape every time she saw one. A rainbow, she had heard it called.

She liked violet the best. After all, it was the color that her idol, her almost-sister, her _crush_ - Oniichan wouldn't want to hear that, would he? - always donned in the open. It was the color of the eyes that always trusted her, of the material over flesh and white that made her blush should her eyes wander, of the eye shadow applied so delicately to complement her features. If she were to drown or lose her life, she would have prayed that it was the last color she would see before black.

_Black_. The simple name made a sick anger rise in her, a rage that she was ashamed to carry within her. It wasn't even a real color, but just an empty hole that devoured any others, should they have the misfortune of being drawn in by its morbid seduction. Even violet could not stand alone, as it was also slowly eaten by the conquering hollow. Shizuka hated black for taking _her_ and everything else away in just a sweep. She hated how it associated violet with itself in such a flagrant manner, and how its avatar beheld a mixture of violet and white in suck sickening eyes. She hated how it had crippled her for so long, hated how she had felt used to its frigid sensation as it engulfed everything...

...and she hated how it was making her look at Mai. She knew that she _shouldn't_ have been fascinated with the way her once-lively eyes were dead, or how she had been gazing at how her blonde hair still managed to fall in just the right places to form a messy frame around her face. She hated how her eyes especially lingered on her lips, coated with lipstick - ruby was the right color, wasn't it? - and how shadows clashed with her skin and made some places so _tempting_ to peek at.

She looked better in light, anyway. White suited her better, but signs of life were even more fitting

But for now, she was in a coma, in what seemed to be eternal slumber. None dared to lift her eyelids even a peek to glance at her eyes, for all knew exactly how glazed they had become. It was almost surreal seeing someone who had once been so active now withering away slowly.

Mai was dying, but Shizuka couldn't know that.

Or maybe she _did_ know, but she didn't want it to be true. That's right. Even though her idol's pretty face was wilting and fading color, she was just sleeping. She's just trapped in the midst of a nightmare that she'll wake up from any minute; once she smiles, everything will be all right once again.

She's not cold, Shizuka thought as she clasped her hand tightly. She had often heard from bedtime stories that when a person died, every inch of her body turned to ice. There would always be a gasp when the witness touched the corpse's skin, and then proceed to wail that there was no pulse to be felt. But Shizuka felt a rhythm - dwindling slightly, yes, but _there._

She won't die.

But what if she was to wake up and see herself like this? To see herself in the mirror with scraggly hair and a cold sweat purging her face of the beauty that she put on so perfectly. Mai wouldn't be happy at all, and whom would she blame? Would she blame her? After all, she was the only one to watch her constantly, overlooking her restless sleep and praying that some deity above would take the time to save her.

But the colors were fading; the vibrant tones that defined Kujaku Mai were disappearing. Shizuka bit her lip and wiped a cloth over the woman's forehead. She'd have to fix it somehow. Then, her pretty crush wouldn't be ashamed to look in the mirror and see what she had become.

She scanned the blinding white room until her eyes landed upon a brown duffel bag next to the doorway.

_That's right - she brought luggage. Her things must be in there, if what Oniichan says is true..._

Remembering her brother's complaints, she hesitantly left the cloth on Mai's forehead and slowly let go of her hand. Immediately, she dashed to the bag, picked it up, and dragged it with difficulty to Mai's bedside.

_Quickly..._

Without asking herself why she was moving so fast, she unzipped the bag and rummaged through clothes, magazines, and necessities. A biting guilt nabbed at the back of her mind: what if someone came in and saw her at this moment? What would they think of her? Yuugi, Anzu - Oniichan especially would be enraged.

Before shame devoured her completely, her hands found what she was looking for. She pulled a purse out of the bag; it was violet, just like everything else that Mai liked. She unzipped it hastily, spilling its contents on the bed in the process.

So many things! Silver containers of mascara, bottles of sand-colored concealer, square-shaped compacts of strange powder...what _were_ they? She opened one of the boxes to find pastel substances all in a special array.

What was she to do with all this? Shizuka looked at it al, biting her lip again - she'd have to stop that habit soon. She n ever had any need for things like this; it all looked so complex. First came the cover-up to hide any flaws, then scarlet applied to the lips...what next? What about her eyes? But she should do away with the old before doing anything else...

A new cloth, Shizuka thought, only to remember the terror that overwhelmed her when she left Mai's side for only seconds. The fear of leaving her to darkness, even for a brief moment, filled her with a resentment that she did not normally hold.

No, she didn't want to endure that again. Better to make sure Mai won't leave her forever than to sacrifice that time to vanity. But is it really vanity when it's not herself she's beautifying? She opened the bottle of tan liquid and turned it upside-down into an open palm.

More than enough poured out, splashing on her fingers. She panicked and withdrew the bottle, setting it aside on the floor. Horrified, she looked from the liquid dripping off her fingertips to Mai's face with the same dead expression as before.

Without thinking, she pressed her fingers to Mai's skin and pushed them in circles, spreading the substance all around and watching it blend in. Shizuka was fascinated with how it seemed to disappear - did she always use this...?

One step completed, she pulled her fingers away and stared at them. Did she do it right...? What now? They were greasy; stains of concealer stood out, clashing with her creamy skin tone.

It didn't matter. Shizuka glanced at Mai, who looked no more alive than before.

_But how -_

She shifted her position, knocking over the bottle next to her. She looked down in time to watch the glass shatter into smithereens. Tan flew everywhere, splattering on the once-immaculate floor. The sound echoed in her mind moments afterward.

"No."

Useless. Instead of helping Mai, she had failed, breaking something precious to her in the process. This wasn't supposed to happen. She felt a stinging sensation in her eyes as a voice whispered _useless, useless, useless,_ over and over again.

At that time, she hated herself and she hated the voice and she hated the black sphere on top of the tower that foretold the end of the world. She hated black and she hated its laughter and she hated him for making Mai this way.

But hating would make her selfish. _Maybe I am. After all, I depend on others for everything. I can't even do this by myself..._

"Wake up, Mai." She shook her arm lightly. "I'm sorry for doubting you and for breaking things, and I'm sorry for not knowing what to do. I -" she sniffed " - I don't want you to go..." and she held her hand just like before. Shizuka buried her head in the comforter so that nobody could see her shame. She held herself there for moments after as she felt herself slip away, just like she did...

A hand landed on her shoulder, giving her a light shake. Shizuka jumped.

"I'm not going anywhere."

She looked up to come face-to-face with those eyes that she loved so much, accompanied by a benign smile. Mai squeezed her hand tightly.

Shizuka choked.

Mai reached out a hand and wiped a tear away from her face; Shizuka didn't protest. "That was sweet of you, but really - you shouldn't get so worked up over me like that." She winked. "Did you honestly think for a moment that I'd go down that easily? Oh, and we'll worry about the mess later," she continued after glancing down at the puddle on the floor. "No use crying over spilled milk. Oh, hon - " she broke off, for Shizuka had thrown herself on her, overtaken by relief.


End file.
